Your Local News Source

I've grown up watching local cable news channel WBBJ my entire life. My affinity for the average looking people sitting behind a prop desk on a cheap set started when my father and I used to watch together just to make jokes about the amateurish broadcast. Now that the Bunny and I take in WBBJ News on a regular basis, I'm less shocked when someone has a Freudian slip and says, "dick" instead of "clip." I only chuckle a little when one of the female newscasters loses a heavy, clip-on earring, and it tumbles and clatters to the floor below while her face remains deadpan. I am still utterly and hopelessly aware of the fact that the first seven stories always detail some crime that was "likely committed by a 5'8" black male in a sweatshirt," and anytime there is another devastating tornado that levels one half of my entire town, the most toothless, stereotypical Southern bastard is always the first one interviewed about the damage: "Damn near took my head off, but the winds just took my tiller instead." I guess the South gets reproduced in Hollywood into mythical, redneck creatures for a reason.

Still, there is always a night where something happens on WBBJ, and even I'm shocked by the producers' inability to see the comedy in their product. Observe the following screen shot of a missing woman, who is reportedly being held "in a room somewhere in Lexington."

Yes, it says "earing" instead of "wearing." You're welcome.