I'll tell you what I am not

I had a conversation yesterday with a friend from grad school, wherein we discussed a woman we both know that seems to be a confirmed misogynist. Really, she is incapable of fostering long-term relationships with females, and she will be the first to put "bro's before ho's," as we so eloquently discussed dead center of a room filled with academics laughing politely. I suppose everyone knows this type of girl: she is the one who flirts with other women's men, while maintaining the pretense of friendship with the female part of the couple, though she never fully "commits" to her girlfriend bond. She sulks and quiets herself in the corner when she feels threatened by other females, and, yet, she can be quite charming if there are no men around for which to compete.

It sickens me to even think about the high ratio of misogynistic girls I encountered all through college, but it makes me even more nauseous to realize that it never stops, even as one grows older and wiser. I have a cousin--second cousin, actually--whose father abandoned her as a child. I hate to say "daddy issues," but this girl had a suitcase full, and she lugged it with her everywhere--from church retreats on into post-college professional environments, where she became the sporty, guy's girl type that sleeps with the married boss, and all of this at the detriment to her professional interpersonal relationships.

I guess this is just another issue about which I am passionate--maybe even more so than my desire to burn down all Casual American Dining establishments (C.A.D.s). What is it anyways with girls who seek to tear down other girls? I always harbored a real abhorrence for females who made statements like, "All of my friends are guys, really," and "I don't get along with women because they are too emotional and catty," nevermind that the statement itself seems quite catty to me.

I thrive on the strong bonds that I have with the various females in my life. It is the kind of relationship where we can "check" each other from time to time, and, yet, there is no cat fight that will in sue and no pretense of competition. We need not compete to see who is the most sexually appealing to our male companions. Really, isn't that bullshit anyways?

I guess I'm just replaying my conversation yesterday--not to mention, reading a horribly indulgent book about such a woman who is married into academe via the husband--and it makes so many things all the more clear to me now. I don't ever want to overthrow a girlfriend to get to the top. I don't ever want to compete with the women that keep me afloat. I look at the young women/girls in my classrooms, and they seem so desperate for attention, and, yet, they are the ones that misconstrue my late-20s confidence as flirtatious competition for their male peers. It is for them that I write this blog and send a wish for them to buck up, and maybe go listen to some Bikini Kill.