No One is a Mystery

Just ask this girl, I used to be a real bitchface. It is for that reason that I've taught myself how to chill out and stop confronting everyone about everything all the time. Over the past few years, I've mellowed to the opposite end of the spectrum, and I now realize that I've been allowing others to take full advantage of my giving nature. Mother of Jesus, I've become my Mom.

I started evaluating my life recently, and I realized that I've somewhat turned into a pushover. I feel like I give more to the people I love than I'm receiving in return. Maybe it's just me being selfish again, but I don't want to feel this way anymore.

I've been slowly trying to be honest about the things that bother me with the people in my life. The Bunny has never been the most thoughtful of men. In fact, he takes the whole, "I don't really need anything for my birthday/Christmas/Valentine's Day" comment way too literally. See, now I sound like a girl, but this problem has been a point of contingency between us for years. He's a great husband--I'd say this blog devotes at least 60% of its time to this fact--but he would never be the type to surprise the hell out of me with a real thoughtful day trip or to even leave a romantic note by the coffeemaker. He is more of the, "Want to get fucked up and have sex?" kind of guy.

Is it too hilarious that I just typed that and have no intention of erasing it?

To this end, I've been slowly confronting the things/issues in my life that I feel I can no longer ignore. On the opposite end of that is the realization that I very well might be doing horrible things to others. Is there any real way to have a clear picture of oneself? I shudder if I get a semi-negative teacher evaluation, so I hate to think of what might occur when I learn about the real Bette.