And you just thought that was all of me

I didn't mean to be so negative last time, but, really, it was everything I was feeling and more. Things just looked so dark from my little black office chair, and the news only got worse with every telephone call and inappropriately serious Facebook message.

But things are back on track. I've finished 1/3 of my dissertation since the beginning of summer. I plan to have 2/3 finished by the end of August, and I'm on the track to graduate next May. The Bunny and I have been hope, hope, hoping for a mini-bunny, but I certainly can't control what happens in that arena. We change our minds daily about staying in this house, building a fancy garage, and painting our guest room yellow. Then, again, in conversations late at night, we know that a move may be on the horizon. All I can say, is stay tuned, folks. It depends upon the the ol' academic job market, really.

The man-child that tried to steal our stuff--i.e. broke my sense of security, invaded my space, and made me feel like a fool--will be tried in court next Wednesday. I found his hat between the fences where he escaped. He is a juvenile. The really lame part of me wants to bring his hat to him, and the other half of me wants to piss on it. The side of Bette--which my father would call my "damn liberal" side--wants to teach this kid a lesson in....literature. I have this idealistic visioning that the world could be cured with books. Maybe the bad people are only evil because their mommies didn't read to them, or they themselves never found the magic in text with which all of the finest people I know are enraptured. I could haul my teachery cloth bags fulls of literary greatness up to the juvenile detention center and start him on a strict regiment of reading. After all, what will locking him up do anyways? He isn't going to be reformed in a cage. I feel sad for him now, really.

We had a rat living in our backyard. No kidding, the damn thing was munching on the feces left by our dogs before "poop clean-up day." (I only write Truth and Beauty, folks.) One day, I looked from our second floor bedroom window and saw TWO rats lunching together on our back lawn. What got me was how brazen they were--sunning themselves while enjoying their treats. I called the Bunny frantically, and we set up traps that night. The whole ordeal was strangely satisfying and grotesque, as we lobbed peanut butter on inordinately large rodent traps and--this next part is completely true--set up lawn chairs on the patio to watch. One rat hobbled out to the trap nearly immediately, and then he back-stepped and retreated into our shrubs. What a smart little rat. I'm certain he saw us in his peripheral vision.

Do not fret, however, as the mini-possum-esque creatures were found semi-decapitated and curled the next day. This morning, I remarked to the Bunny that he might try putting the traps in our back trash area, as we live close to downtown, and I'm certain the sewers are what has brought them our way. The Bunny fell to the ground in a semi-convulsion, protruded his teeth, and made the classics X across the eyes squinty-face in homage to our dead rodent pets. I giggled and supposed that was a "yes" for my question about the traps.

All in all, we've been trying to avoid the things that bring us down and live each day with "I love you" falling out of our mouths with reckless abandon. On that note--I'm sorry I abandoned you, dear bloggers.